Baby Shower Advice: Relax

Gina from the Hiya Luv blog invited me to be part of a virtual baby shower for Mandy of the Mandipidy blog. Mandy is soon due to have her first bebe, and I was happy to agree! At many baby showers, guests are asked to write down a note of advice for the mom-to-be, so that’s what I’m going to do today.

My advice? Relax. Don’t try to plan everything. When things don’t go as you planned, go with the flow. Relax.

My husband and I found out we were going to have our first child when he was in the Army, I was a junior in college and we weren’t anywhere close to marriage. We were completely shocked, overwhelmed and honestly, terrified. I spent the majority of my pregnancy worrying. Worrying about

I won’t say having a baby that way was easy – it wasn’t – and I wouldn’t recommend that method to anyone else. Things were difficult financially and we were trying to figure out who WE were as adults at the same time we were trying to figure out how to parent and how to shape our child.

Now, almost 13 years later, we have a daughter who’s soon to turn 12, and sons who just turned 10 and 4. We’ve been married 10 years, and while those weren’t always easy years, we’re happy and proud to have created a stable, happy family. Our kids honestly rock – they’re sweet, smart, talented, cute and funny. They care about people. They don’t get *everything* a kid could want – partly because we can’t afford that and partly because we don’t think that’s good for kids…and they have been taught to appreciate what they have.

So why the long story about our tough time starting out? Well, because I am now at the age when many of my peers are beginning to have their own kids, and I see them planning away. Sometimes, things don’t go as they planned, and they really struggle with the anxiety and fear that they feel. Even though I am a person who likes to plan things so I can be prepared, I suppose I’m also one who is flexible enough to go with the flow when my plans decide they don’t like me. :) With parenting, so much you plan for isn’t going to happen. Or it will happen slightly differently. Or it will happen . . . two years after you thought it would. And that’s ok. It really is.

Life throws curveballs at us – you as an individual and a spouse must already know this. With kids thrown in the mix, the curveballs seem to come more frequently, or maybe we’re just less able to catch them bec ause our hands are busy changing diapers and pushing swings. You, as a mother and wife, you totally can handle those curveballs. You can! And your family isn’t going to go down the drain if things don’t happen perfectly. If you live in a cramped home for a few years, your kids will be fine. If they have to miss out on camp one summer because you’re moving or there is a death in the family, they will be fine. If the school in your area isn’t the greatest, they will be fine. It’s just up to you as the parent to see what your kids’ needs are, and then fill in the gaps where you can. If their school isn’t the best, you take extra time at home to teach them. If they miss camp one year . . . they may just miss camp one year. If they have to share a room with a sibling, cool – they’re learning how to get along with others.

So, Mandy, relax and let life happen. Plan what you can, and then remember that plans don’t always come to fruition, and that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. Teach your kids to be able to handle most circumstances by MODELING that behavior. Teach them to be content with what they have by modeling that. Teach them to get creative when they’re stuck inside due to the weather.

Take a deep breath, remember that people all over have survived and THRIVED in worse circumstanes, and relax. It’s the easiest way to enjoy your family.

Shop Giveaway!

Y'all need to head over to my friend Karen's blog ROT NAIL and enter to win $30 in credit in my shop! You can also get a 20% off discount code.

Karen is a sweetheart living in Korea, she and her husband just adopted the most beautiful little girl from Ukraine. Her blog is full of awesome photos, definitely take a look around while you're over there!

Dance Party Friday! Mix It Up

Today's Dance Party is going to be a mixture of good stuff I've run across, or been reminded of lately. Who knows, maybe you'll be saying Ooooooh...they're playing my song!!

First is a little Blue Eyed Soul...the best kind, from Britain! I was looking for All I Want Is You by Miguel on YouTube the other night, and came across a video of this guy - Daniel de Bourg, who is a great singer. He's gotten YouTube famous by doing tight covers of some great R&B songs, including several where he does all the backing tracks - vocals and instruments - just with his voice. He's cute, too. Anyway - enjoy this song and then look up the rest of his stuff on YouTube.

@BabylonSista from Twitter was listening to this and reminded me of my love for U2. In high school, a few guys did a lip-sync to this song. One guy who looked like the Edge sat on a chair on stage, with the stage curtains pulled all the way to each side of him, and the other guys stuck their hands out and messed with his face and all that. It was pretty funny. I should note that the next year my friends and I lip-synced to the theme from Shaft and I got to wear a vintage patchwork leather coat and stacked boots. Lots of lip-syncs in my high school years...

Here we have a special request from M. Enjoy, buddy. I really hope you enjoy that U2 song up there, too. :)

Here's a new song by the Avett Brothers, from an online performance on CMT.com. I can't wait for their new album! Did you know I and Love and You was produced by Rick Rubin? It sure was. You can see more "unplugged" performances of Avett Bros. favorites here.

I love the Shins, I love this song. I came across it again recently and have listened to it a couple times a day over the last week or so. So much energy yet kind of jaded and doubting. This is such a great example of indie pop.

This one goes out to Jeanna . . . KNEE DEEP IN THE HOOPLA. I think Grace Slick knows about Joann's Phoenix Jacket Junction, too.

A friend said something about ATCQ's Midnight Marauders album and I said something about The Low End Theory, which is my favorite of theirs. This is a great song from that album. Have I told you the story of how I met my husband? It has to do with us connecting over Tribe. I'll always love them, can't wait to see the movie about them, directed by another favorite of mine - Michael Rapaport. ZEBRAHEAD!!! If you know what that is, I love you. Let's be BFF.

I've just begun watching Sons of Anarchy, an FX tv show about a Northern California motorcycle club, via Netflix. I like it, plan to watch the rest of the series, but wish it had been done by HBO or Showtime. I'd have liked to see what they could have done with the show if they'd had less boundaries. This is the theme song.

If you're a Chicago Blackhawks fan, or a Chicago resident, or a hockey fan, you've probably heard this song a bazillion times. It's what they play when the Blackhawks score a goal and was played ad nauseum last year when they won the Stanley Cup. Heard it recently for the first time in a long time. Good song, great band name.

Any requests?

Small Change mattered to Eboni

Hooray! Another great update from Chicago’s Emergency Fund, the organization I’ll be donating 10% of my Etsy profits to this year. I’m posting some of the stories they send to supporters so you can have an idea of what impact they make in the Chicago area.

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Small Change Mattered to Eboni

Small Change Matters

In our day-to-day lives, it's easy to forget that these three words are true.  But here at the Emergency Fund, we know that small change does matter.  It mattered to Joseph.  It mattered to Roxanna and Lashon. It mattered to Charlie.     

And it certainly mattered to Eboni.  

It was a sunny, March afternoon in Chicago, and seven-year-old Desaree couldn’t wait to get outside. It was the first warm day of the year, and she grinned when she heard the familiar music of the ice cream truck jingling toward her grandmother’s house.

As usual, Desaree finished her ice cream before her sisters and ran to her cousin’s blue scooter while her family sat on the front porch. When the bullet struck her head, she didn’t know what had hit her.

Desaree’s mother, Eboni, was startled awake by banging on her front door. Pregnant with her fourth daughter, she was napping before her evening security shift when she awoke to face her worst nightmare. No one could even tell her where Desaree had been shot.

Eboni waited for hours as Desaree’s condition was upgraded from critical to guarded. She kept vigil over her first-grader’s medically induced coma. She was there every time her little girl woke up from surgery. And when Desaree was released a month later, Eboni knew she would do whatever it took to keep her daughter safe from the gang that had begun harassing her family.

Eboni found a new home in a safe neighborhood – she could pay the rent, she just couldn’t afford the security deposit. Small change for some of us, it was an insurmountable obstacle for Eboni.

That’s why the Emergency Fund is here. We provide the small change that empowers our clients to get back on their feet and keep going. With our help, Eboni moved her family away from the violence and into a safe home.

Small Change Matters for people like Eboni. Whether it’s a bus pass to get to a job interview, or a security deposit that helps a family move into a safe home, when someone is close to the edge a small change can make all the difference.

Please, make a donation to the Emergency Fund today. Together we will make the small change that changes lives.

Donate today and your new or increased gift will be matched* by an anonymous donor!

*Double your impact! An anonymous donor is matching all new or increased gifts. That means that 100% of first-time gifts and gifts from donors who have not given since 2008 will be matched. For those who gave in 2009 or 2010, any amount above the highest annual gift amount in 2009 and 2010 will be matched.

IT'S ALIVE!!

My ability to blog from my phone, that is. I might even be able to post pics! Let's try... Ok, one pic of a downtown Chicago planter - loaded.

Let's try one more and see how that works...coneflowers by a neighbor's garage window.

Time to hit "publish" and flip out when it works!

Dance Party Friday! Harry Potter

Google+ is already doing great things in my life. I asked what today's Dance Party Friday theme should be and got two responses: "Angst. Pure, unadulterated angst." and "Harry Potter, natch."

Though those themes could be intertwined, I've found enough songs to go along with a Harry Potter-only theme that I'm gonna shelve Angst for today and visit it again, maybe next week. So, for all you HP fans, today's DPF is for you! I know y'all are still asleep after catching the midnight show last night, so maybe you can check out the DPF when you wake up this afternoon.

I am a fan of the Harry Potter books. I didn't think I would be, but finally decided to give them a try. By this time all the books had been published and my local library had several copies of each, so I didn't have to wait when it was time to move on to the next book. I gotta say, I really dug the books, especially as I got further into the series and the themes grew more mature. There were some slow or redundant parts, sure, but there were some really funny parts, some really scary parts and some really touching parts. One day I'll read them again, and I'm sure my kids will enjoy them soon.

So . . . here we go!

I love the Eagles, so am happy to kick off DPF with one of their songs. This was a suggestion by Marissa. As are several other songs today. Thanks, Marissa!!

Ok - check it out, there are ALL KINDS of awesome versions of "I Put A Spell On You", so I'm going to do a short DPF within a DPF and do a quick rundown of all the great versions:

Van Morrison

Nina Simone

The Animals

Joss Stone & Jeff Beck

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Thin Lizzy

CCR

She & Him

Ron's mom won't be having this, you guys.

Do You Believe in Magic? You know, Lovin' Spoonful, I'm not sure. This is a long conversation and I'm not sure we have time for it right now.

AIR SUPPLY, Y'ALL!!!


Black Magic Woman - Santana - great old school concert footage (even with the karaoke lyrics)!


Aww yeah, Hufflepuff, you know what's up . . . fun video.


Wizard by Black Sabbath. Dude, I could probably just post their entire catalog for this post. And Stevie Nicks, right?


Magic Potion by Open Mind. I like the mix of 60s fashion, psychedelics and plain weirdness of this video.


Man, oh man. Can a band get more emo? I love you but I've chosen darkness!!! Album title: Fear is on our side.


Add this song title to the name of the next group...


Flying Cars! Get it? Bonus song title on this one.

Alright, y'all. What other songs should be added to the Harry Potter Dance Party Friday?

Kevin tipped me off to a list of 25 Wizardry-related songs. Thanks, dude!

Possibly unusual safety tips for kids

Every once in a while, my husband and I go over safety tips with our kids. I don’t know that the things we teach our kids are that conventional, but I believe in them whole-heartedly.

1. If you’re in an emergency situation – if someone is hurt or is about to be hurt, if something is damaged or about to be damaged, if something really bad is going to happen and you need a way to stop it, it’s ok to break rules. It’s ok to scream in a public place. It’s ok to cuss your head off to get the attention of someone who can help you. It’s ok to interrupt me if I’m on the phone. It’s ok to talk to a stranger.

2. If you’re lost or need help from a grownup, don’t look for a police officer or someone who’s wearing a uniform – find someone who looks like a mom, a grandma, an aunt. Find a woman. Go to a woman with kids. Look, my Dad is a cop, I’m not saying people in uniform are bad. But – I feel more danger from men who would hurt kids than from women. And there aren’t usually people in uniform everywhere you go. But there are almost always women and moms. I know if a kid came up to me needing help, I would do anything I could to help that kid.

3. If someone comes up on you and tells you to be quiet or they’ll hurt you, you scream your head off. Think about it – if you ARE quiet, they ARE going to hurt you. That’s what they want to do. What they don’t want is to be noticed by anyone else. You kick, scratch, scream, bite, anything you need to do, but you do NOT obey.

4. On the other hand, if they tell you they want your money, give it over immediately. Don’t try to be a hero. You just have to use your best judgment – are they trying to hurt you or rob you? If they just want your stuff, give it to them and call the cops afterward. If you’re in a store or bank and someone tries to rob the place, become as invisible as you can and obey the robber. Don’t try to be a hero and don’t try to outsmart the robber. Most robbers aren’t brilliant, practiced jewel thieves like what you see in the movies. Rather, they’re hopped up on drugs or scared they’re going to get caught, and their trigger finger is itchy. Don’t give them any reason to freak out.

I’ve tried to balance safety tips like this with “puppies and unicorns, life is safe and happy” – I don’t want to freak them out unnecessarily . . . but I would rather them be a little scared – and prepared – than naïve and unsure of what to do in a bad situation. Obviously, when we’re in these situations, we don’t always think straight and may not do any of the things we thought we would. But sometimes we can, and those things can make a difference.

Do you have any safety tips you practice, or have taught to your kids?