Monday, January 30, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
· Some people I know are upset about something so they decided to create a new email account to have their Secret Angry Discussion. They chose to set up a Yahoo email account. I find that hilarious.
· I watched this short film about women’s bodies after birth, thought about my own issues with my post-baby body and ended up crying at my desk. Yay!
· Student asked to sing at this year’s commencement ceremony and I had to tell her no and she thinks it’s personal and it’s not. It’s logistical. Like Honey Badger, She Really Doesn’t Give A Shit.
· Rude faculty is rude. Again. This time I stood up for myself (professionally and politely, but firmly). I’m so thankful to have a boss who supports me when this stuff goes down.
· Program Chair insists that I am a notary. He is so certain! Nope, I’m not. No, really. I’m not. I’m also not a secretary (a term he is still using) and can I say, President Obama, that I loved your SOTU but why are you still calling people secretaries? I get that it was probably easier to say than “Administrative Assistant” but dude you just gave a bazillion old school executives ammo in their argument with their ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT that they should be able to still call them secretaries.
· Forgot a bowl at home (again) so warmed up my chicken noodle soup in cups . . . and then, in my attempt to transfer the broth of one cup to another, poured it into my coffee.
· I wish my husband didn’t hate social media, he’d be an amazing live-tweeter. You should have heard him during the State Of The Union.
· Today’s post on Handmade Ryan Gosling is super popular. Clearly, crafty ladies of the world like to be told we’re sexy even though we haven’t showered in a couple days.
· Last but surely not least: Downton Abbey tumblrs for you!
o Downton Abbeyonce
o Downton Abbey Lamps
o Arrested Downton
o Downton Pawnee
o Downton A Train
Monday, January 23, 2012
I’ve mentioned a few times on ye olde blogge that a while back, I was very interested in a “natural” lifestyle. Heck, even over in my profile bio on the right, I mention that in my daydreams, I live on a ranch. Well, a few years ago, from around 2006 to 2008, wanting to live a “back to the land” lifestyle was a very strong desire of mine.
Recently an online friend blogged about something similar – seeing the positive qualities in a simpler life, a more natural life, a slower lifestyle. She admitted that she probably romanticized it but that it still looked appealing. I noticed many commenters agreeing, saying they felt the same way. I jokingly commented that she sounded like I did, a few years ago. She responded and asked what I did about it, and here’s what I told her:
I made certain small changes to our lifestyle, and honestly, I kind of grew out of it because it wasn't a dream that was to become a reality for me anytime soon. :/
My husband wasn't interested (especially in the back-to-the-land stuff - he's a city/suburbs guy) so without buy-in from him, it wasn't going to happen, you know? And because of that I just kind of let it go and began focusing on other things. I get my "fix" in other ways - spending more time outside, eating better, doing creative things with the kids, watching Frontier House on PBS, ha!
Something I've noticed about myself is that I will get really gung ho about something that interests me, and I'll think that I need to change my whole life to look like whatever that interest is. What I'm still learning is that maybe "tweaks" are what I really need. Maybe I don't need to homeschool and make all my food from scratch and raise chickens and live on a farm sustained with electricity from our windmill and become a midwife . . . maybe what I'm feeling is really a pull to spend more time with my kids on what they're learning from this world . . . make better food choices and start a container garden . . . cut costs and make eco friendly choices in my suburban townhouse . . . tell my friends about great pregnancy and birth resources and let them know I'm available with a non-judgmental ear if they need to vent or need advice. Maybe I can use my interest to advocate on behalf of people who need a lot more of these things in their lives but have even less access than I do - people who live in food deserts, people who have only ever been told that birth is a terrifying, painful thing to leave up to a hospital staff, people who have so little chance to visit a zoo or forest or farm, or even just a park.
I'm still interested in all those things and love to see, read, hear, talk about them . . . but in their full-blown form they don't work for me. Doesn't mean I can't incorporate some of their important principles and aspects into my life!
Do you do this? Do you get really excited about something, learn a lot about it, and think you must change your whole lifestyle to be happy? Have you actually done it? If so, how did it work out? Are you like me – it takes a while but eventually you understand that perhaps a radical change isn’t in order, but smaller changes are?
What are things you thought you needed, and it turned out maybe you just needed to make some tweaks?
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
(29 years ago, wait, what, 29 years? 29? I was walking around and eating solid foods that many years ago?) - My first boyfriend was in kindergarten. We went to the same daycare so between it and school, we were with each other for hours each day.
There was an area in our classroom set up to play house. He and I sat on the (toy) bed, it broke, I used to tell this story as thought it was a dirty joke when I was a few years older, what is wrong with me.
We were playing hide and seek and he kissed me. He told me he would give me his sister’s Barbie house and car. He moved away.
(22 years ago) - I saw him at a pizza place in 6th grade. He didn’t notice me and I was glad. And mad.
(20 years ago) - I saw him in 8th grade at someone’s graduation. He didn’t notice me and I was just mad. I was really cute that day.
(17 years ago) - He came to my high school our junior year, we never spoke. I did glare at his locker a couple times. Surely.
(6 years ago) - I helped plan our 10-year high school reunion. We started an online community and he participated and had no idea who I was. I figured making a scene might discourage people from attending and I reminded myself that the *internet is forever*.
Nod to Melissa Beck for the *reminder*.
Monday, January 16, 2012
We get a lot of submissions to Handmade Ryan that have nothing to do with crafting or handmade business, so we don’t post them. Some of them are funny, though, so I thought I’d share them here.
Hey Girl, you're home. I know how busy you've been so I took your latest recipe post and made it for the two of us, god I hope that's OK?
What is this woman doing to poor Handmade Ryan to have him so scared of trying something without her permission?
Hey girl. I don't know why they're not reviewing. Your latest fanfic chapter was epic.
Can you imagine the RG fanfic out there? I mean, don’t most of us have a running RG fanfic storyline in our head at all times?
Hey girl, Let's go to the Beastie Boys concert so I can gaze at you with love while you rap like the white girl you are.
Um . . . *peeks out my window* . . . do I know you? Like, personally? *whispers* Can you hear me? I am simultaneously in love with and completely terrified by you.
Hey girl, now tell me, was that cake really better than sex?
Well, I don’t know. Was it carrot cake?
Hey girl. You don't have to make dinner. I'll just sit here watching you play Words with Friends.
Thanks, babe. God, my friends just kick my ass at this game. And I thought I had a good vocabulary!
hey girl, could you go out and buy some more shampoos and conditioners? The 12 other brands we have aren't leaving my hair as shiny and soft as I thought they would
I would do it, too. I would buy him more shampoo and conditioner.
Hey Girl, I don't feel like having sex tonight. Could we just lay in bed and watch The Real Housewives together?
No, Handmade Ryan. That is simply not an option. I advise you to get cracking.
Hey Girl, I would never put an empty box of cereal back on the shelf, you know I wouldn't do that to you.
Those damn kids.
Hey Girl, I know it's late and you have cramps. Let me run to the drugstore and get you tampons, midol, and chocolate, you know I would love to do that for you
Handmade Ryan, you are the best pretend boyfriend I have ever had.
Hey girl, go ahead and put your fat pants on, I'll clean up the dishes.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
I miss spending time face to face with girlfriends.
I miss the meditative, calming aspects of prayer and Biblical study and the mercy, kindness and hopeful parts of myself that don’t get called to the surface naturally very often but did via my faith. I miss the kinder, more compassionate, less angry me that I was when I was centered in religious faith. I know I can be that person again but my entire life I did it one way and now I’m not sure where to find the inspiration.
I miss exploring the outdoors for hours – climbing trees and logs and hills
I miss my old fashion sense. I used to be cute and funky and a little hip and preppy and sporty and country. I mixed it all up.
I miss going to concerts, big and small.
I miss my family (the ones I grew up with, not the family I made – I see their lovely faces daily).
I miss the way you feel making out with someone before you’ve had sex. Remember the anticipation, the danger?
I miss dancing every day for hours, because I had to and because I wanted to. I miss leaps and turns and choreography. I miss my old body. I miss the way you walk around all day feeling normal and it’s not until you get to practice and begin stretching, that you notice how tight you’ve been since practice the day before. I miss the floppy, warm feeling your muscles have after stretching and before dancing. I miss knowing a dance so well that your body just takes over and you enjoy it and you PERFORM.
I miss swimming all summer. I miss swimming, period.
I miss my certainty.
I miss the pages-long emails my best friend and I used to send each other. About faith and marriage and parenting and family and old friends and funny things and childbirth and everything we ever thought to think about. I miss my best friend.
I miss when reading an email meant I’d get the work done that day. I miss not having anxiety over my inbox – personal and professional.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Today was my first day back at work after almost three weeks of vacation. I knew it was going to be difficult to get my brain into “work” mode again, but I’ve been surprised at how hard it’s been for me to stay positive today.
I think I’m dealing with a combination of the following:
· Not many people have come back to work yet so it’s a little lonely
· My office is freezing
· I heard the sad news of someone’s death
· I spoke with someone about their job loss & difficulty finding new work, the financial stress they’re dealing with – double whammy of wishing I could help them and wondering when/if I will be in their shoes
· People online are being really shady and just not cool in a variety of ways
· The lunch I made wasn’t very good so I’m really hungry which sends my crankiness through the roof
· I forgot my hat, scarf, gloves, so walking to/from the train wasn’t & won’t be fun today – it is freezing outside & the wind is bananas
· I didn’t get much sleep last night – lack of sleep & food make me sooooo not happy
· I miss my husband and kids. I got used to being around them 24/7.
I know this wasn’t a shiny, happy post, but sometimes your day just doesn’t go that way! I’m looking forward to getting on my train and going home to see my family. Tomorrow is a new day!