When Going Back to the Land Isn’t an Option

I’ve mentioned a few times on ye olde blogge that a while back, I was very interested in a “natural” lifestyle. Heck, even over in my profile bio on the right, I mention that in my daydreams, I live on a ranch. Well, a few years ago, from around 2006 to 2008, wanting to live a “back to the land” lifestyle was a very strong desire of mine.

Recently an online friend blogged about something similar – seeing the positive qualities in a simpler life, a more natural life, a slower lifestyle. She admitted that she probably romanticized it but that it still looked appealing. I noticed many commenters agreeing, saying they felt the same way. I jokingly commented that she sounded like I did, a few years ago. She responded and asked what I did about it, and here’s what I told her:

I made certain small changes to our lifestyle, and honestly, I kind of grew out of it because it wasn't a dream that was to become a reality for me anytime soon. :/

My husband wasn't interested (especially in the back-to-the-land stuff - he's a city/suburbs guy) so without buy-in from him, it wasn't going to happen, you know? And because of that I just kind of let it go and began focusing on other things. I get my "fix" in other ways - spending more time outside, eating better, doing creative things with the kids, watching Frontier House on PBS, ha!

Something I've noticed about myself is that I will get really gung ho about something that interests me, and I'll think that I need to change my whole life to look like whatever that interest is. What I'm still learning is that maybe "tweaks" are what I really need. Maybe I don't need to homeschool and make all my food from scratch and raise chickens and live on a farm sustained with electricity from our windmill and become a midwife . . . maybe what I'm feeling is really a pull to spend more time with my kids on what they're learning from this world . . . make better food choices and start a container garden . . . cut costs and make eco friendly choices in my suburban townhouse . . . tell my friends about great pregnancy and birth resources and let them know I'm available with a non-judgmental ear if they need to vent or need advice. Maybe I can use my interest to advocate on behalf of people who need a lot more of these things in their lives but have even less access than I do - people who live in food deserts, people who have only ever been told that birth is a terrifying, painful thing to leave up to a hospital staff, people who have so little chance to visit a zoo or forest or farm, or even just a park.

I'm still interested in all those things and love to see, read, hear, talk about them . . . but in their full-blown form they don't work for me. Doesn't mean I can't incorporate some of their important principles and aspects into my life!

Do you do this? Do you get really excited about something, learn a lot about it, and think you must change your whole lifestyle to be happy? Have you actually done it? If so, how did it work out? Are you like me – it takes a while but eventually you understand that perhaps a radical change isn’t in order, but smaller changes are?

What are things you thought you needed, and it turned out maybe you just needed to make some tweaks?

Adam Braverman Saves the Day

On last night's episode of NBC's Parenthood, there was a scene that gave me happy chills. I was sitting there with my hand up over my mouth, on the edge of the couch, staring at Adam Braverman (Peter Krause's character) with such love . . . ;)

See, in the show, Adam and his wife Kristina recently had a baby - a very unplanned baby. They already have a teenager and a younger son. Adam and his brother just bought an old recording studio and are trying to turn it into a profitable one. They also hired an assistant who is super crazy young and SMOKING hot.

Kristina is dealing with the I Just Had A Baby And Feel So Incredibly Not Hot And Self Concious stage that most women go through during the weeks & months after giving birth. It takes quite a while for the body to "bounce back" to its old self, and the truth (sorry, y'all) is that for most women, it never does bounce all the way back. Especially after having more than one kid. On top of all that, your body's hormones are still trying to regulate themselves, so your emotions are just all over the place and heightened. You feel gross and your body is healing from birth, so even if the Dr. has given the ok to have sex again, you may not feel ready. You might be scared of pain, of not being attractive, of not enjoying it. Your hormones are trying to tell you "Slow down, you just had a baby" so you may not even be interested in sex. Still, sex is important for most relationships so going weeks and months without it can strain the relationship. And it's like - your husband is giving you space because he knows you're not ready yet, but the fact that they aren't trying to get it on makes you feel like you're not desirable.

It's a tough time to be a chick, I'm telling you. I've been through it 3 times. I remember one day on maternity leave after our last child was born, watching something on tv that prompted me to go look in the full-length mirror. My husband came home and I was sobbing on the couch about how horrible I looked and how I was never going to be hot again and, well, he had to do a lot of encouraging so I wouldn't totally lose it.

So in the scene below, Adam's recording studio is having a big launch party. Kristina is in the red dress, the smoking hot assistant is in the black jacket, and Adam is the guy who totally blew me away with how sweet and loving and real he is when talking to Kristina.

Sigh.

Watch it and sigh with me.

Dance Party Friday, Anniversary Edition

 

Today is our 11th wedding anniversary! Hooray for us. :)

We met in October 1998. I was in college at Kansas State University when my husband (in the Army at the time) came to my apartment with some friends. His friend had a crush on my roommate and he wanted to visit her, but didn't want to come alone, so he drug his friends along with him.

I began quizzing the guys on what music they listened to, and one after another, they were saying "Master P" and I was just like Uhhhh. Without the nah nah nah, you guys. Not a fan. I mean, I respect his hustle but his style is just not my thing. When I got to my husband, he said he listened to A Tribe Called Quest. This made me take notice because I was a big ATCQ fan. I left for some party and later referred to him as "the cute one on the couch." I didn't really think about him again.

A couple weeks later, on Halloween night, my roomies and I went to a Goodie Mob concert on campus - and THE CUTE ONE ON THE COUCH was there with his friends! We saw them in the audience so after the show we met up with them and decided we'd all go to the various Halloween parties in town, as a big group. We split off into different cars and I (of course) ended up in his car. OH LOOK, he happened to be playing Tribe on his stereo! ;)

We were out all night and while our friends went into house party after house party, we stayed behind in his car and talked and talked and talked.

A couple days later he & his friends came over (my roomie had begun warming up to the guy who had a crush on her) and the rest is history - we got serious immediately.

Two years and one baby later, we got married, and here we are today, 11 years and two more kids later. We've been through a lot . . . A LOT, Y'ALL. And we're still together and happy.

Here's the little gazebo where we got married. No decorations (none needed, look at that greenery!), our friends & family stood around the gazebo and we had a very small reception at the local brewery.

Love you babe!

Proud of my husband

Among other things, my husband is a high school football coach. He coaches at his alma mater, under the same head coach he had when he was in high school. This is a big school where football is king, and he's coached there for a few years now, working his way up the ladder.

He's held different coaching positions on the freshman team and has been asked to coach on the sophomore team next year. Also, recently a senior player on the varsity team was highlighted in the Chicago Tribune. That player mentioned my husband's coaching during his freshman year as something that helped him a lot. Very cool!

As a coach he's mentored many kids & teens - athletically, academically and in terms of character and choices. He really shines in this sort of role and I'm proud of him.