Monday, January 16, 2012

Handmade Ryan Honorable Mentions

We get a lot of submissions to Handmade Ryan that have nothing to do with crafting or handmade business, so we don’t post them. Some of them are funny, though, so I thought I’d share them here.

Hey Girl, you're home.  I know how busy you've been so I took your latest recipe post and made it for the two of us, god I hope that's OK?

What is this woman doing to poor Handmade Ryan to have him so scared of trying something without her permission?


Hey girl. I don't know why they're not reviewing.  Your latest fanfic chapter was epic.

Can you imagine the RG fanfic out there? I mean, don’t most of us have a running RG fanfic storyline in our head at all times?


Hey girl, Let's go to the Beastie Boys concert so I can gaze at you with love while you rap like the white girl you are.

Um . . . *peeks out my window* . . . do I know you? Like, personally? *whispers* Can you hear me? I am simultaneously in love with and completely terrified by you.


Hey girl, now tell me, was that cake really better than sex?

Well, I don’t know. Was it carrot cake?


Hey girl. You don't have to make dinner. I'll just sit here watching you play Words with Friends.

Thanks, babe. God, my friends just kick my ass at this game. And I thought I had a good vocabulary!


hey girl, could you go out and buy some more shampoos and conditioners? The 12 other brands we have aren't leaving my hair as shiny and soft as I thought they would

I would do it, too. I would buy him more shampoo and conditioner.


Hey Girl, I don't feel like having sex tonight.  Could we just lay in bed and watch The Real Housewives together?

No, Handmade Ryan. That is simply not an option. I advise you to get cracking.


Hey Girl, I would never put an empty box of cereal back on the shelf, you know I wouldn't do that to you.

Those damn kids.


Hey Girl, I know it's late and you have cramps.  Let me run to the drugstore and get you tampons, midol, and chocolate, you know I would love to do that for you

Handmade Ryan, you are the best pretend boyfriend I have ever had.


Hey girl, go ahead and put your fat pants on, I'll clean up the dishes.


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